My son crumpled to the airport floor in a sobbing heap when the ticket agent said, "I'm sorry, but you can't fly today." Tornadoes and severe thunderstorms in the Midwest had made for dangerous flying conditions, and my flights to various locations were cancelled. I leaned over the desk and whispered, "I'm just trying to get to my mom's house. Is there any other way we can go?"
The answer was simple, "Not today."
What could I do for my five-year-old crying boy but try to come up with a consolation prize as we hauled the luggage back out to the car for the drive home? "Noah, how bout a Chick-fil-a milkshake for the drive? Would that work?" He looked up at me through the tears and smiled, "Can it be cookies and cream?"
My thoughts exactly.
After loading the bags back in the car and cranking up the A/C for the drive, Noah began saying things like, "That lady was mean, Momma. She doesn't want me to see my Nene today." Wow. What perspective for a child. Along the drive I tried explaining to him about the dangerous weather, that the lady at the ticket counter is NOT mean, and how God is just making sure that we're safe. And then he said it, "God doesn't want me to see my Nene, Momma? That's even worse."
Once again a simple answer was all that would suffice, "Not today."
While driving home I was fully frustrated, even though the cookies and cream milkshake tasted awfully good. The day had been complete chaos, and now I had to go home, pick up the dogs from the boarder, and make phone calls to figure out alternate plans. I'll admit it; I didn't even think it was worth it. I was beaten, and though I knew the battle was not a big one in the grand scheme of things, I was frustrated that MY plans didn't work out the way that I planned.
Bingo. They're my plans. Not HIS.
That drive along the Interstate back home was what I needed. Just as the road curved around trees and over rivers, God laid out the rest of the day for me. I'd need to stop at a friend's house to update her of the change, pick up the dogs, make my phone calls, and figure out plan B.
God always knows what's best for me.
The simple answer of "not today" lead me to ask Him, the Great Planner, "What exactly am I supposed to do today?" As usual, God is always faithful, and He always provides.
That stop at a friend's house led me to receiving some great news about my husband. Picking up the dogs from the boarder led me to an opportunity to minister to the owner about God's ultimate timing. Making phone calls to various travel agencies and airlines led me to the kindest customer service agent of the day who ended our call with, "Good luck and God bless you." Coming home led me to picking up my son's pictures from a recent photo shoot and a much needed healing phone call to a friend I hadn't spoken to in awhile.
The best moment of all, though, was when I called my mom. "Emily, God works all things for his glory," she said. "He led you to some great moments, and best of all...some roads are opening back up even after all the flooding. He just needed time to get this place ready for you."
God spoke through my mom at that moment, and I cried.
God, my plans are not Your plans, but Your plans are always so much better. Thank you for taking the reins away from me today, and giving me some wonderful gifts and opportunities. Please remind me of this the next time that I think I know so much better than You. No matter what, Your plans for me are infinitely more wonderful and more perfect than I could ever imagine. Thank You for loving me that much.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Have You Given Thanks Today?
"Heavenly Father, we thank You and praise You for this day."
Have I given thanks? You betcha. I do every night at the beginning of our nightly family prayers as we put our son to bed. That covers all the bases, right? I'm supposed to thank God for everything He has done, and that pretty well does it.
Do you see the errors in my thinking? I sure do. My efforts to streamline our nightly prayers meant that I wasn't giving God the glory where it was due. I guess I've always realized the error of my ways, but it wasn't until a drive home after work that God spoke to me about this issue.
It was last Thursday, May 12th, that God had a little chat with me as my son and I were heading home after a long day of school, work, and errand running. I remember the color of the sun setting in the West - bright red due to the wildfires going on in our area. I looked through the rear view mirror at Noah and said, "Wow, bud, God is blessing us with an amazing sunset tonight. I'm thankful we get to see it as we drive home." Right then and there, God spoke.
"Have you given thanks today?"
Hmmm. Well. Didn't I just give thanks for that sunset in front of me?
In an instant, I was hit with a flurry of verses.
*1 Thessalonians 5:8 - Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
*Ephesians 5:20 - Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
*Colossians 3:17 - And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Then came all the things that I should be giving thanks for.
*That sunset? God made it for me to see at that very moment.
*The fact that since my husband has been deployed, I haven't had to make a single phone call to a repairman.
*I've got so much food in my fridge that I have to throw things out that I haven't even been able to use.
*Noah and I have driven from place to place in complete safety.
*I'm healthy!
*I've got a warm bed to sleep in every night.
*My mom. She's one of the greatest support systems I have, and God got her home safely after a recent trip.
*In a time where jobs are scarce, I have one that I enjoy.
The list went on.
By the time I got home, my head was spinning, and I was feeling quite guilty. There are so many things to be thankful for that I have no way to give thanks for each and every one. I'd be praying for days if I did that.
God whispered one last time as I opened the door to our home. "Give thanks with a grateful heart..."
All right, Lord, You got me. I get it now. I don't need to give thanks every single day for every single thing in my life. I just need to give thanks for the things that I'm most grateful for in each day.
In keeping along with my being honest about my conversations with God, I'll tell you exactly what I heard from the Big Man after my holy light bulb moment.
"There. That wasn't so hard now, was it?"
Dear God, I love how you teach me things.
And at that moment, I gave thanks.
Have I given thanks? You betcha. I do every night at the beginning of our nightly family prayers as we put our son to bed. That covers all the bases, right? I'm supposed to thank God for everything He has done, and that pretty well does it.
Do you see the errors in my thinking? I sure do. My efforts to streamline our nightly prayers meant that I wasn't giving God the glory where it was due. I guess I've always realized the error of my ways, but it wasn't until a drive home after work that God spoke to me about this issue.
It was last Thursday, May 12th, that God had a little chat with me as my son and I were heading home after a long day of school, work, and errand running. I remember the color of the sun setting in the West - bright red due to the wildfires going on in our area. I looked through the rear view mirror at Noah and said, "Wow, bud, God is blessing us with an amazing sunset tonight. I'm thankful we get to see it as we drive home." Right then and there, God spoke.
"Have you given thanks today?"
Hmmm. Well. Didn't I just give thanks for that sunset in front of me?
In an instant, I was hit with a flurry of verses.
*1 Thessalonians 5:8 - Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
*Ephesians 5:20 - Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
*Colossians 3:17 - And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Then came all the things that I should be giving thanks for.
*That sunset? God made it for me to see at that very moment.
*The fact that since my husband has been deployed, I haven't had to make a single phone call to a repairman.
*I've got so much food in my fridge that I have to throw things out that I haven't even been able to use.
*Noah and I have driven from place to place in complete safety.
*I'm healthy!
*I've got a warm bed to sleep in every night.
*My mom. She's one of the greatest support systems I have, and God got her home safely after a recent trip.
*In a time where jobs are scarce, I have one that I enjoy.
The list went on.
By the time I got home, my head was spinning, and I was feeling quite guilty. There are so many things to be thankful for that I have no way to give thanks for each and every one. I'd be praying for days if I did that.
God whispered one last time as I opened the door to our home. "Give thanks with a grateful heart..."
All right, Lord, You got me. I get it now. I don't need to give thanks every single day for every single thing in my life. I just need to give thanks for the things that I'm most grateful for in each day.
In keeping along with my being honest about my conversations with God, I'll tell you exactly what I heard from the Big Man after my holy light bulb moment.
"There. That wasn't so hard now, was it?"
Dear God, I love how you teach me things.
And at that moment, I gave thanks.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Showing Love and Sacrifice in Friendship
God has definitely been working on my heart lately when it comes to friendships. For the longest time I thought that friendships were gifts from God...they just sort of happened. That kind of thinking has really led me to taking my friendships for granted. I thought that if they were given to me by God, then God would put everything in place. The key here is that they're given to ME. Therefore it's up to ME to make sure the friendships remain.
Our lives are incredibly fast paced. Because we're constantly running from one place to the next, we tend to convince ourselves that we just don't have time to write letters or make phone calls to those nearest and dearest to us. The truth is, though, the time IS there, we just need to make room for it. Let's face it, our friends need to hear our voices and we need to hear theirs.
Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times." So often I think of that verse in times of strife. I tell myself, "Even though things are difficult, I will still love her through this time." What if I literally apply this verse to time, though? "A friend loves at ALL TIMES." No matter how busy I think I am, I still need to show love. Why? Because love shown means much more than love felt. Whether it's a quick email at 5AM as I'm starting my day, or a phone call while I'm cleaning, I must show love at all times in my day, even if I have to MAKE time for it.
What about social media? Doesn't that make maintaining friendships so much easier? I used to think so. That was until I realized that text messages and Facebook posts became the only real contact I had with friends. Gone were the days of long phone calls, cards to celebrate holidays, and even emails. I miss real connection. I miss hearing my friends' voices. I miss the interaction with their day to day lives. For me, social networking just isn't enough, and after talking to a few friends about this, I'm betting that it's not for most of us.
Friendships are not founded on text messages and Facebook posts. They are based on and cultivated through mutual time spent in the presence of each other. I fully realize that literally spending time in the presence of our friends may be difficult. We are busy, and I'm not discounting that. Heck, I could write for days on the ways I've banged up my own friendships due to my "busyness." What I'd like for us to realize, though, is that friendships cannot possibly survive through the quick, fast-paced correspondence that our country seems to thrive on.
John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." I used to think of this only in the literal sense of making the ultimate sacrifice for my friends the way that Jesus did for me. Here God goes again, though, showing me that another application can be made. Laying down your life for another requires a sacrifice. Obviously in our chaotic world, making a phone call to a friend or sitting down to write an email may truly be a sacrifice. Real friendships are based on sacrifices. What are we willing to give up of our own to ensure a lasting relationship with our friends? The answer always ends the same...time. If we desire lasting, real, authentic friendships, we must be willing to "lay down our lives" in the sense of laying down our control of our time.
It takes work to maintain friendships. Real...time invested...work. It is definitely much easier to send a quick text or make a Facebook post to tell a friend that I'm thinking of her, but what is the payoff? Not much. What if I carved out some time to sit down and write a letter, or even call, or better yet, schedule some time together? If I hold the person close enough to me to call her a friend, I must be willing to show her that she is.
Don't get me wrong, communicating through the latest and greatest technology isn't all bad. It can be a great help when connecting with friends who are separated by distance. Sharing coffee over Skype or chatting on Facebook after the kids go to bed can be wonderful ways to maintain friendships. No matter where your friends are, though, never underestimate the power of a quick phone call, email, or invitation to grab lunch. Even though you may be incredibly busy, show your love for them by giving them the best sacrifice you can...time.
Our lives are incredibly fast paced. Because we're constantly running from one place to the next, we tend to convince ourselves that we just don't have time to write letters or make phone calls to those nearest and dearest to us. The truth is, though, the time IS there, we just need to make room for it. Let's face it, our friends need to hear our voices and we need to hear theirs.
Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times." So often I think of that verse in times of strife. I tell myself, "Even though things are difficult, I will still love her through this time." What if I literally apply this verse to time, though? "A friend loves at ALL TIMES." No matter how busy I think I am, I still need to show love. Why? Because love shown means much more than love felt. Whether it's a quick email at 5AM as I'm starting my day, or a phone call while I'm cleaning, I must show love at all times in my day, even if I have to MAKE time for it.
What about social media? Doesn't that make maintaining friendships so much easier? I used to think so. That was until I realized that text messages and Facebook posts became the only real contact I had with friends. Gone were the days of long phone calls, cards to celebrate holidays, and even emails. I miss real connection. I miss hearing my friends' voices. I miss the interaction with their day to day lives. For me, social networking just isn't enough, and after talking to a few friends about this, I'm betting that it's not for most of us.
Friendships are not founded on text messages and Facebook posts. They are based on and cultivated through mutual time spent in the presence of each other. I fully realize that literally spending time in the presence of our friends may be difficult. We are busy, and I'm not discounting that. Heck, I could write for days on the ways I've banged up my own friendships due to my "busyness." What I'd like for us to realize, though, is that friendships cannot possibly survive through the quick, fast-paced correspondence that our country seems to thrive on.
John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." I used to think of this only in the literal sense of making the ultimate sacrifice for my friends the way that Jesus did for me. Here God goes again, though, showing me that another application can be made. Laying down your life for another requires a sacrifice. Obviously in our chaotic world, making a phone call to a friend or sitting down to write an email may truly be a sacrifice. Real friendships are based on sacrifices. What are we willing to give up of our own to ensure a lasting relationship with our friends? The answer always ends the same...time. If we desire lasting, real, authentic friendships, we must be willing to "lay down our lives" in the sense of laying down our control of our time.
It takes work to maintain friendships. Real...time invested...work. It is definitely much easier to send a quick text or make a Facebook post to tell a friend that I'm thinking of her, but what is the payoff? Not much. What if I carved out some time to sit down and write a letter, or even call, or better yet, schedule some time together? If I hold the person close enough to me to call her a friend, I must be willing to show her that she is.
Don't get me wrong, communicating through the latest and greatest technology isn't all bad. It can be a great help when connecting with friends who are separated by distance. Sharing coffee over Skype or chatting on Facebook after the kids go to bed can be wonderful ways to maintain friendships. No matter where your friends are, though, never underestimate the power of a quick phone call, email, or invitation to grab lunch. Even though you may be incredibly busy, show your love for them by giving them the best sacrifice you can...time.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
A Pre-Deployment Conversation with God
"I just don't want to do this," I remember whispering to my husband the night before he set out on his final deployment with our current command.
"I just don't want to have to do any of it. I don't want to have to do it all and have to smile through it all...alone."
I know he felt helpless as I cried into his shoulder just hours before he was faced with leaving. He was a man torn apart: the brain that was reminding him of his commitment to his country, and the heart that was reminding him of the family left behind.
As my husband held on to me through my tears (well, sobs), I heard that soft whisper from God that begged of my attention.
"Sure, you don't want to face all that comes with this deployment, but let me remind you of the things you don't want to miss."
And as I begged for time to slow down, I also prayed for God to show me all the things that He knew I didn't want to miss. By the time my alarm clock went off reminding me of the day ahead, the answers from God were ringing in my ears.
*Homecomings. Only military wives get to experience those feelings. Sure, you spend a lot of time alone, but that moment that you see him after a long deployment? You don't want to miss that for the world.
*The National Anthem. You cry every time you hear it. Why? Because you're filled with pride. Not everyone recognizes the importance of that song, but you do because you have first hand experience. You don't want to miss hearing that the way I intended for you to.
*Emails, letters, and Facebook posts. There's something special about the communication that takes place when your husband is gone. The closeness you feel is like nothing else. Remember that? You don't want to miss that feeling.
*Fly-overs. Even though he's not a pilot, watching a military plane fly over you brings you chills and tears. It's like a small connection to your husband. You don't want to miss those.
*Relationships with other military wives. You may not get to spend that much time with them, but these women are your kindred spirits. They understand everything you face in ways that only military wives can. You don't want to miss the opportunities I've provided to add them to your support list.
*Strength. Do you know how many people look up to you because of your strength? You wouldn't have that if you weren't in this position. You don't want to miss the chance to be a mentor.
*A stronger relationship with God. Times like these allow me to be even closer to you. You rely on me and look to me for guidance every second. You don't want to miss where I'm taking you.
At the end of this "conversation" with God, I felt so much better about the deployment. I still feel anxious at the thought of having to do so much on my own, but I know that God wouldn't have me here if I wasn't meant to be. And I know that He'll provide me with all the strength, energy, and patience I need to get through it.
I miss my husband more than words could ever describe, but the things that God showed me? Well, I wouldn't EVER want to miss those because now I realize that they're gifts from Him. Gentle reminders that He's with me every step of the way.
"I just don't want to have to do any of it. I don't want to have to do it all and have to smile through it all...alone."
I know he felt helpless as I cried into his shoulder just hours before he was faced with leaving. He was a man torn apart: the brain that was reminding him of his commitment to his country, and the heart that was reminding him of the family left behind.
As my husband held on to me through my tears (well, sobs), I heard that soft whisper from God that begged of my attention.
"Sure, you don't want to face all that comes with this deployment, but let me remind you of the things you don't want to miss."
And as I begged for time to slow down, I also prayed for God to show me all the things that He knew I didn't want to miss. By the time my alarm clock went off reminding me of the day ahead, the answers from God were ringing in my ears.
*Homecomings. Only military wives get to experience those feelings. Sure, you spend a lot of time alone, but that moment that you see him after a long deployment? You don't want to miss that for the world.
*The National Anthem. You cry every time you hear it. Why? Because you're filled with pride. Not everyone recognizes the importance of that song, but you do because you have first hand experience. You don't want to miss hearing that the way I intended for you to.
*Emails, letters, and Facebook posts. There's something special about the communication that takes place when your husband is gone. The closeness you feel is like nothing else. Remember that? You don't want to miss that feeling.
*Fly-overs. Even though he's not a pilot, watching a military plane fly over you brings you chills and tears. It's like a small connection to your husband. You don't want to miss those.
*Relationships with other military wives. You may not get to spend that much time with them, but these women are your kindred spirits. They understand everything you face in ways that only military wives can. You don't want to miss the opportunities I've provided to add them to your support list.
*Strength. Do you know how many people look up to you because of your strength? You wouldn't have that if you weren't in this position. You don't want to miss the chance to be a mentor.
*A stronger relationship with God. Times like these allow me to be even closer to you. You rely on me and look to me for guidance every second. You don't want to miss where I'm taking you.
At the end of this "conversation" with God, I felt so much better about the deployment. I still feel anxious at the thought of having to do so much on my own, but I know that God wouldn't have me here if I wasn't meant to be. And I know that He'll provide me with all the strength, energy, and patience I need to get through it.
I miss my husband more than words could ever describe, but the things that God showed me? Well, I wouldn't EVER want to miss those because now I realize that they're gifts from Him. Gentle reminders that He's with me every step of the way.
The Woman Who Prayed
I prayed that God would use my brokenness to turn it into beauty,
and He gave me a loving family.
My heart is now whole.
I prayed that God would use me to help others,
and He blessed me with the gift of teaching teeenagers.
My life has never been the same.
I prayed that God would use me as a mentor,
and He's given me countless interactions with other military wives.
My life has been blessed.
I prayed that God would use my writing to help me get my thoughts in order,
and He's given me the gift of speaking what's on my heart while touching the hearts of others.
My life has never felt so meaningful.
I prayed that God would use me fully and teach me what to say,
and He gave me these words...
and He gave me a loving family.
My heart is now whole.
I prayed that God would use me to help others,
and He blessed me with the gift of teaching teeenagers.
My life has never been the same.
I prayed that God would use me as a mentor,
and He's given me countless interactions with other military wives.
My life has been blessed.
I prayed that God would use my writing to help me get my thoughts in order,
and He's given me the gift of speaking what's on my heart while touching the hearts of others.
My life has never felt so meaningful.
I prayed that God would use me fully and teach me what to say,
and He gave me these words...
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